If you’re reading this, chances are you’re feeling frustrated, unhappy and dissatisfied with your current job. You’re not alone. According to a Gallup survey, 75% of employees who voluntarily left their jobs did so because of their bosses.
But before you quit your job or start looking for a new one, you might want to consider some alternatives that could help you improve your situation and cope with your boss. In this article, I’ll share some tips and strategies based on research and expert advice that could help you turn your hate into motivation.
If you have read any of my previous work you would understand that I am not one to shy away from the facts and from the truth. One of my core beliefs and rules that I live by is this: I don’t have to know you, I don’t have to like you, and I don’t have to be friends with you either. If I believe you are right, I will stand by you, support you, and fight for you. Right is right and wrong is wrong. That is just me though and I cannot speak for everyone.
When I busy myself with reading different articles and journals about the workforce to draw some inspiration from, I find myself bombarded with things that don’t talk about the obvious. It seems like most of these articles are very biased, from the employer’s side of things. Look, I have been working since the ripe old age of 16. The first legitimate job I ever held was as a telemarketer that was responsible for tricking people to sign up to receive credit cards. Believe me, none of these people had any business getting more credit cards. I was young and dumb and was being handed a nice sum of money for doing what I was doing.
I’ve held many jobs since; a cook, a mechanic, a welder, a tool and die maker, a cabinet maker, a CNC programmer and machinist, I have worked on assembly lines building airplanes, hell I have even scrubbed toilets for a paycheck. But when I started working white collar jobs, I noticed a drastic shift in workplace behavior.
While working in an office I found people were uptight, and they always wanted to “one-up” you in everything you did or said. People seemed to have a lot to say about you behind your back when you weren’t around. This completely blew my mind. I was not raised to be a person like this, so I would just keep my head down and work and not engage in office politics.
And I feel like this is one of the reasons why so many of us are so unhappy at our jobs. People venting about coworkers, or personal life. Not getting along with coworkers because someone called out one of your mistakes. Or even people just simply trying to make you look bad for whatever reason. Many of us go through this daily, and frankly it sucks.
But then I started thinking about it more and more and figured if you’re feeling unhappy at work, you might think that you hate your job. But before you start looking for a new one, ask yourself this: Is it really your job that you hate, or is it your boss?
My Worst Bad Boss Experience
The worst bad boss experience I had was at the last job I held. This was a smaller company than I was used to working for. About 100 people in total, and one central location. I can’t give out details about the company for obvious reasons but I will say they were involved in the construction industry in some way.
When I first started working there, the manager I had was great. We got along great, worked very well together, and we managed to turn that department into the biggest money maker in that company. Unfortunately, he ended up quitting and moving on to bigger and better things. I should have taken the hint when he left, but I didn’t. I was chosen as his successor until they were able to find someone else. They passed on just giving me the job because I was promised a better role once they found someone. Even though I made my suggestions to upper management, they didn’t listen. They didn’t care. Mistake after mistake, terrible decision after terrible decision, bad hire after bad hire, I watched this company that I personally helped take from 3 million dollars in revenue a year to over 30 million dollars a year in revenue start to crumble.
Eventually, they hired my new manager. Now, you can choose to believe this or not, but they hired this person for two reasons; #1 – because he was capable of “changing his oil in his driveway” and #2 – because he was the next door neighbor with the CFO of the company. He had no other experience in being a manager or even working in a manufacturing company or environment. So you can imagine what direction that company, and more specifically the department, took. It was a slow, painful, and gradual decline.
Immediately I saw right through this guy, and he knew it. I would call him out in meetings, in front of my team of workers, and I would let upper management know that things were all a cluster f*** because of him. The name calling and constant belittling that he used to do towards me, I could put up with. I have thick skin. But he crossed the line when he started talking about my family. I used to do his job for him. There was not a thing he could do that was helpful to me or the company, and instead of me waiting on him to hand down my work, I would just go and figure it all out myself. Many of my coworkers noticed this and played along with me. They would come to me and “go over his head” as he described it, and he absolutely hated it. In meetings, it would be so obvious that he had no idea what was happening in his department, but I did.
His attitude towards me changed and started making things extremely difficult for me as his payback. Which was fine with me because I was still getting my job done, and hitting my targets and deadlines. And the harder he tried to make things on me, the more I excelled because I just looked at it as a new challenge and an opportunity to learn new things and be a better employee.
I tried to be the bigger man in all this and just keep my head down and work. I would get in trouble and written up for almost everything you can think of, even got sent home a few times. The stupid thing was I was a salaried employee so whether I am at work or not, I always will be paid.
So, my payback to him was to stop doing his job for him. And when I did that, the pressure was now placed solely on him. People started to see that he was the issue there. As I mentioned earlier, since he had no experience in this industry or even being a manager, things were nothing but chaos. Projects would go unfinished and over timelines. Products would be shipped to customers incomplete or damaged or missing parts.
It’s one thing to just write experiences down on paper, but to live them is a different story. I used to enjoy that job. The people at work were great, we would all get along, and have fun. It didn’t feel like work most days. But when this clown came around, everything changed. He was one of the new hires that destroyed that company. Anyway, I no longer work there and I couldn’t care less what happens at that place.
I share these stories as a way to give some background on what I wanted this piece to be about. I would ask myself almost every day if it is actually my job that I hated or was it just my boss. After I was fired from this place, I realized that it was definitely my boss. As I said, I really did enjoy my job there and I still do, but that one individual made things awful not only for me but for many of my coworkers.
Why You Hate Your Boss and Not Your Job
For many of us, the idea of having a job that we enjoy and find fulfilling is a dream come true. But even if you love your job, a bad boss can quickly turn that dream into a nightmare. A bad boss can make you feel undervalued, unappreciated, and frustrated.
I would like to mention that it is important to understand that a bad boss can take many different forms. They may be micromanagers, constantly looking over your shoulder and nitpicking every detail. They may suck at communication, leaving you in the dark about what’s expected of you or failing to give you feedback on your work. They can be, and usually are, disorganized, causing chaos and confusion that makes it difficult for you to do your job effectively. Or they may be simply unpleasant, belittling or bullying you and making you dread coming to work each day.
You need to identify the root cause of why you hate your boss. Is it because they are incompetent, abusive, micromanaging, unfair, or simply have a different personality or work style than yours? Once you know what triggers your negative emotions, you can try to address them constructively. For example, if your boss is incompetent, you can try to offer them feedback or suggestions respectfully and diplomatically. If your boss is abusive, you can try to set boundaries and communicate your expectations. If your boss is micromanaging you, you can try to show them that you are reliable and trustworthy by delivering quality work on time. If your boss is unfair, you can try to document your achievements and contributions and ask for recognition or rewards. If your boss has a different personality or work style than yours, you can try to adapt to their preferences and communicate in a way that they understand and appreciate.
You also need to focus on the positive aspects of your job and find meaning and purpose in what you do. Even if you hate your boss, there might be other things that you enjoy or value about your job, such as your colleagues, your clients, your projects, your skills, your impact, or your benefits. Try to remind yourself of these things every day and express gratitude for them. Also, try to align your work with your personal goals and values and find ways to contribute to something bigger than yourself. This will help you feel more motivated and fulfilled by your job and less affected by your boss.
Finally, and most importantly, take care of yourself and manage your stress levels. Hating your boss can take a toll on not only your physical health but your mental health as well, so it’s important to practice self-care and find healthy outlets for your emotions.
I Don’t Hate My Job, I hate My Boss
No matter what form they take, a bad boss can have a serious impact on your job satisfaction.
Here are just a few reasons why:
Analyze the situation: Before you label your boss as bad, try to understand why they behave the way they do. Maybe they are under pressure from their boss, or they have personal issues that affect their mood. This doesn’t make it fair that they take things out on you, or justify their behoaviour. Maybe they have a different work style or expectations than you. Maybe they are unaware of how their actions impact you and others.
Try to see things from their perspective and find some common ground. Knowing what drives your boss can help you adapt to their style and communicate better with them. For example, if your boss is obsessed with details and deadlines, they might appreciate regular updates and status reports from you. If your boss is insecure and needs validation, they might respond well to positive feedback and recognition. If your boss is ambitious and competitive, they might value your initiative and results. These things may not sound like something you want to do, especially after having to endure whatever your boss is putting you through but don’t let hate and spite define you. Work in silence, let your results speak for you.
They undermine your confidence: When a boss is constantly criticizing you for whatever reason, it’s hard not to take it personally. Over time, this can erode your confidence and make you feel like you’re not good enough at your job. This is one of the things I used to feel personally. This can be especially damaging if you’re in a field where confidence is important, like sales or public speaking.
They create a toxic work environment: A bad boss can create a culture of fear and mistrust in the workplace. When employees are constantly on edge, it’s difficult to collaborate, innovate, or feel like you’re part of a team. This can lead to a high turnover rate and make it difficult to attract and retain talented employees.
They make it difficult to do your job: A bad boss would be disorganized or unclear about what they want and expect from you. This can make it difficult to prioritize your work, meet deadlines, or even know what success looks like. When you don’t know what’s expected of you, it’s impossible to do your job effectively.
They don’t recognize your contributions: When you work hard and do a good job, it’s natural to want some recognition for your efforts. However, a bad boss may be too focused on their own agenda to notice your contributions. This can, and will, make you feel undervalued and unappreciated, which can be demotivating over time. Employees need constructive feedback to grow and improve in their roles. When a boss fails to provide feedback, employees may feel that their boss doesn’t care about their development or success.
Micromanagement: Micromanaging bosses can be extremely frustrating for employees. This type of boss tends to closely monitor every task and decision, leaving employees feeling suffocated and undervalued. Employees may feel that their boss doesn’t trust them to complete tasks independently, which can lead to a lack of motivation and decreased job satisfaction.
Lack of communication: Effective communication is essential in any workplace. When a boss fails to communicate clearly and regularly with their employees, it can lead to misunderstandings, mistakes, and frustration.
Unfair treatment: A boss who shows favoritism or treats employees differently based on personal biases can create a toxic work environment. This type of behavior can lead to resentment among employees and a lack of trust in the boss. This is something that happened at my last workplace. It was a behavior that was taught from the CEO down, and it was so evident.
Lack of support: A boss who doesn’t provide adequate support or resources for their employees can leave them feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. This can lead to decreased productivity and job satisfaction.
Inflexibility and unwillingness to change and adapt: A boss who isn’t open to new ideas or approaches can stifle innovation and creativity in the workplace. This can lead to frustration and a lack of engagement among employees.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other reasons why someone may not like their boss, but I tried to keep it professional here. Simply saying my boss is mean to me does not solve any issue or give anyone any kind of comfort knowing they are not alone. I have listed just some of the reasons why employees may dislike their boss at work. If you are someone who is a manager or boss of any sort and is reading this it’s essential to be mindful of these factors and work towards creating a positive work environment that fosters growth, productivity, and employee satisfaction.
Dealing With A Bad Boss
Dealing with a bad boss can be a challenging and stressful situation. It’s important to maintain a professional attitude and communicate effectively with your boss. Try to identify the specific issues you and approach them in a non-confrontational manner. Try to focus on your own performance and don’t let your boss’s behavior affect your work negatively. If the situation becomes unbearable, consider talking to HR, and if all else fails consider looking for alternative employment opportunities. Remember that you have options and deserve to work in a healthy and respectful environment.
So, what can you do if you find yourself with a bad boss?
Here are some tips:
Don’t Blame Yourself: The first step is to stop blaming yourself. It’s easy to get into a cycle of self-doubt and criticism, but it won’t make the situation any better. Instead, try to look at the situation objectively and recognize that it’s not necessarily your fault. You may be dealing with a difficult boss or a toxic work environment, and it’s important to remember that you have no control over these things.
Talk to them: Your boss may be unaware of how their behavior is affecting you. Schedule a meeting and calmly explain your concerns. Be specific about what you need from them to do your job effectively. Try to communicate with your boss in a calm and respectful manner. If there are specific issues that are bothering you, communicate them clearly and directly. Avoid getting defensive or aggressive, as this can escalate the situation. Once you know what your boss wants and needs, try to adjust your behavior accordingly. This doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are or compromise your values, but rather that you have to be flexible and respectful of your boss’s preferences.
Document everything: If your boss’s behavior is particularly outrageous, it may be helpful to document specific incidents. This can be useful if you need to escalate the situation to HR, or if you end up in a legal battle with the employer. In my personal situation, I kept a record of events that took place, I have every email and even recordings of every meeting. My lawyer and I both sit back and laugh while the employer and their lawyer continuously embarrass themselves in court.
Stay Professional: Regardless of how difficult your boss is, it’s important to remain professional in all your interactions. Don’t let their behavior affect your professionalism and work performance. You don’t want to give your boss a reason to hold you back in your career. This is easier said than done, I will be the first to admit. There is only so much a person can take. Don’t let a bad boss ruin your mood or affect your work quality. Try to maintain a positive attitude and a professional demeanor at work. Avoid gossiping or venting about your boss with other coworkers, as this can damage your reputation and create more problems. Instead of complaining or criticizing, try to offer constructive suggestions or solutions that can benefit both you and your boss.
Look for Solutions: Try to find solutions to the specific problems you’re experiencing. For example, if you find that your boss is micromanaging you, suggest ways in which you can work independently and still achieve the desired results. Look for ways to make your job easier and more enjoyable. If your boss is making unreasonable demands, suggest ways to streamline the process. Taking control of your work and finding ways to make it more enjoyable will help to make the situation more bearable.
Focus on Your Individual Goals: Stay focused on your goals and the things you can control. I was once told by someone, “Control the controllables.” This can help you stay motivated and productive despite your boss’s behavior. If your job depends on other people, then just do your part and leave the rest to them. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your job. Think about the things you enjoy, and the skills you’re developing. Remind yourself that this is a temporary situation and that it will eventually pass. With a positive attitude, you’ll be able to get through this difficult time and find a job that’s more suited to you.
Know Your Rights: It’s important to understand the rules and regulations that govern your workplace. By familiarizing yourself with laws and policies, you’ll be better able to identify any potential areas of conflict with your boss. This knowledge can also help you to negotiate for better working conditions or compensation.
Set boundaries: While it’s important to adapt to your boss’s style and expectations, it’s also important to set some boundaries and protect your work-life balance. Don’t let your boss take advantage of you or interfere with your personal time or comfort. Learn to say no politely but firmly when necessary, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if your boss crosses the line. For example, if your boss expects you to work overtime every day or calls you on weekends, let them know that this is not acceptable and negotiate a reasonable schedule.
Evaluate Your Options: If the situation becomes intolerable, consider the options you have. You can speak with HR, request a transfer, or even quit. For some of us, there may be no PLAN B, I acknowledge that. But trust me there is always a way. Make sure you have a plan in place before taking any drastic actions. You can do what I did and start your own business. Check out The SIde Hustle University for more on this.
By staying professional and being the bigger person, you can manage the situation and protect your mental health and job satisfaction. Having a bad boss can even make the best job feel like a nightmare. It’s important to recognize the impact that a bad boss can have on your job satisfaction and take steps to address the situation. Even if that means making the hard decisions.
Conclusion – The TL;DR Version
Having a difficult boss can be incredibly stressful, but it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. By taking control of the situation and looking for ways to make it more bearable, you can make your job more enjoyable and find a way to survive until things get better or you can find something better. Yes, having a difficult boss can be stressful and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Many people have to deal with bad bosses at some point in their careers. A bad boss can be someone who micromanages, bullies, takes credit for your work, plays favorites, lacks communication skills, or simply doesn’t know how to lead.
A bad boss can make your work life miserable and affect your performance, motivation, and well-being. But quitting is not always an option for some of us, especially if you like your job and your colleagues.
If none of these strategies listed above work and you still hate your boss so much that it affects your performance, well-being, and happiness, then it might be time to consider leaving your job or finding a new one. However, before you make this decision, make sure that you have a clear plan and a realistic goal for your next career move. Do some research on the market and the opportunities available for someone with your set of skills and experience. Update your resume and portfolio and network with people who can help you find potential employers. Prepare for interviews and negotiate for the best offer possible.
Most importantly, leave your current job respectfully and professionally. Don’t burn any bridges or badmouth your boss or company. Write a polite resignation letter and thank them for the opportunity. You never know when you might need them again in the future.
I hope this article has given you some useful insights on what to do when you hate your job but hate your boss even more. Remember that you are not alone in this situation and that there are ways to improve it or change it for the better. Don’t let your hate consume you or define you. Instead, use it as a catalyst for growth and change.
Finally, if you haven’t already done so, please check out my website, The University of Side Hustles, which I created for people like you and me who are looking to start a side hustle to make some extra money or even to start a business so we don’t have to put up with a bad boss.. You’ll find similar articles and blog posts to this one, as well as reviews and ideas that could help you to become free from the rat race we all know and hate.
To your success,
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any company, organization, or employer. The author has not received any compensation for writing this post, however, there may be some affiliate links throughout the piece. Individual results may vary based on effort and other factors. Any action you take based on the information presented in this post is strictly at your own risk. The author assumes no liability or responsibility for any errors or omissions in the content of this post.